RETURN TO ANYONE BUT MY WIFE

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY… FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS.

Introducing Return to Anyone But My Wife from Luxe Riot District—a brutally funny statement tee for the man whose sense of humor comes with absolutely no emergency contact privileges.

The graphic reads:

“IF FOUND DRUNK OR UNCONSCIOUS, PLEASE RETURN TO ANYONE BUT MY WIFE.”

Designed in a gritty black-and-white streetwear aesthetic, these graphics combine oversized distressed typography with graffiti crowns, hand-drawn stars, X marks, paint splatters, brush strokes, drips, and raw urban textures. The monochromatic palette makes it easy to wear while the message delivers pure LRD troublemaker energy.

THE ENERGY

Some shirts start conversations.

This one might start an investigation.

It's sarcastic, reckless-looking, and intentionally over-the-top—the kind of tee made for the guy who appreciates humor that walks directly up to the line and sets up a lawn chair.

Pair it with distressed jeans, cargos, shorts, sneakers, boots, a trucker cap, or layered streetwear for an effortless casual look with personality.

Perfect for guys' trips, bachelor weekends, birthdays, cookouts, game nights, vacations, cruises, parties, or as a hilarious gift for the husband with a dangerously good sense of humor.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: DECLINED.

DECISION-MAKING: QUESTIONABLE.

WIFE FINDING OUT: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

LUXE RIOT DISTRICT™

Rebelliously luxurious. Unapologetically you.